Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life IS to be selfish!
As far as I can remember, the word Selfish has always had a negative connotation. The webster dictionary doesn’t offer a lighter meaning of the word either: Caring only for oneself; concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself! We all can agree that Selfishness is not a very likeable quality in a person. However, I want to advocate for the flip side of being selfish. There is an advantage to being selfish at the right time!
In the words of the famous singer Janet Jackson, “What have you done for me lately?” Well, ask yourself, “what have YOU done for Yourself lately?” In most cases, probably absolutely nothing beyond the necessities of eating, paying your bills and making sure you are where you are expected to be during the week be it school, work, church, etc. It is important to take care of self first! In all that you do, make sure that you do for yourself! Often times, we are guilty of ignoring all the signs that tell us we need a “time out!” A day, a couple of hours, a week or even a moment to simply respond to the desires and demands of self!
Allow me to redeem the definition with this finding: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. Listen to your body…what is it telling you? Are you tired? Stressed? Hungry because your meals are deprived of a healthy diet? How do you feel? Beautiful? Grouchy? As ordinary and minor as these observations may seem, for some people these are very real everyday experiences that they think is inescapeable. You have to decide what you need as well as what you want.
I caution you to weigh your needs and your wants because one may out weigh the other. Determine what you can go without and what you absolutely need in order to be happy. Then set a realistic time frame for instant satisfaction and one for long term satisfaction. You can always have something positive and fun to strive towards that gives you fulfillment. Rather than settling for the temporary and rountine of drinks, parties, sex, etc. Don’t get me wrong, these are enjoyable things to do, but are they really fulfilling to YOU or do you find yourself still trying to fill a void?
There is a time and place to be selfish and it is an act that you have to moderately put into practice. It is great that there are people in your life who depend on you and look to you for different things. However, one must be mindful of the fact that no one is a SUPERHERO and YOU are more precious than anything because there is only ONE OF YOU! Therefore, rule of thumb “Pay self first!” both literally and physically. In the words of the famous singer Beyonce, “Put your own love on top!”
This is a choice that you have to make and actively pursue for your own well being as an individual. Take the time you need and the space you need to be holistically well and confident in who you are. Come out of your “shell”, “Superhero”, “Bossy”, “Best Friend Always”, “Perfect Wife”, “Perfect Husband”, “Clingy Girlfriend or Boyfriend”, or whatever your situation and just do you! I choose me! Take the dare …choose YOU!
2 think is to knowself1st!